My seven-year-old son, R, and his friend, J, are having a
playdate at our place. This is an after-school playdate. They are classmates and
we are neighbors, so they are bus-buddies too. This means they are together
since 8:30 am till 4:00 pm when we pick them up from the bus stop. Every day. Sometimes,
they ask if they can have a playdate. To be precise, this happens every single
time that their moms, I myself and J's mom, are at the bus stop at the same
time. The moment the boys see us together, they ask if they can have a
playdate. Which we agree most of the times. Which is not as often as the boys
like.
I give them their favorite snack: ice-cream. My three-year-old son
is excited to have ice-cream with the big boys. Their happiness and enthusiasm
is quite heart melting. It cheers me up. I am thinking to myself that nowadays
I would be bored if I spend more than three hours with anyone. I decide to have
ice-cream with them, and take advantage of this merry occasion to start a
conversation with the grade Oners about their school: how was school today?
Usually, I get nowhere with this question. Nothing more than “good”
from my son.
R: Good!
(Me thinking …thanks son! It was expected!)
I try to be tactful, using more specific and more exciting questions.
So, I ask: Was anyone in trouble today?
R: No!
Me: …
J: Although Jacob and
Alex had a fight again!
(Me thinking …yes! we are
getting into it!)
R: Yeah! On the bus!
(Me thinking …yeah! now
you are talking son!)
J: Yeah! Jacob put a
key to Alex’s nose!
Now I am really
surprised. Actually, I am a bit shocked, but I try to keep a poker-face. Well,
only with a bit of eyebrow-raising, to show I am interested in their story and
I am surprised, but not too much face expressions to shut them down. I use my
cool/soft voice: Oh No! That is terrible! How come?!
R: Jacob has done it
before too! Once he was trying to choke Alex!
Me: … (raising the
eyebrows higher)
J: Yeah! He has 3
notices so far but he is still on the bus! They say 3 notices and you will be
exempted from the bus but nothing! Yeah right! They are just saying it!
I now have to figure
out how much of it is fact and how much is fiction. The grade-oners have active
minds and good imaginations. I ask how come Alex is still interested to be
friend with Jacob? Why do even they sit next to each other on the bus?
J: Alex uses F word sometimes!
Now, I am holding my
jaws not to drop wide open. I cannot believe what I am hearing. I am thinking good
that I started this conversation. What do I know about the kids? R’s eyes are
wide open. He looks alerted as if he is thinking now mom is going to find out
what we know! I am trying to think what should I say now? How do I react to
this? Do I still hide that I am shocked, do I keep a neutral face to let them
continue? Do the other parents know what goes on the bus? Is this normal that
the kids learn about the F word in grade one? What other things they already know?
Why R has kept silent about it? I am a terrible mom! How come he never told me about
this when we have our little chats at bed times? Should I contact the other
parents? My three-year-old is going to learn it now too! In a fraction of a
second, my mind is processing all of these. I am sure my fake cool face looks
silly. I am still listening with interest, trying to pretend I am one of them,
when J asks: you know Cat?
Me: Yes! (…)
J: Alex says the F
word … he says (now J covers his mouth with both his hands): Fat!
I cannot control it. I
burst into laughter. I do. I am a silly mom! Over thinking everything, over
examining!
Fat? Fat! Fat. Goodness!
These kids are hilarious.
I’m not sure if they
told me the whole truth. They sure have heard about the F word and soon they
are going to learn the real one. As long
as they understand they should not use it, it is fine with me. All I am
thinking is 8:00am to 4:00pm goes by in a blink of an eye.
*Names used are fake. The story is true :)
